Pre-Christmas Thoughts

I remember the warm feeling that tingled inside of me as I watched Triston take in all Christmas had to offer last year. It was so exciting to see his face. But, NOW he understands it so much more. I guess in the moment last year I didn't even think ahead to what it would look like this year. Even the part beyond the receiving of gifts. I have explained to him that Xmas is when we give love and presents to people we love. We spend lots of time with family (Each time we talk about it he assures me Ayden is in that picture. I happily agree with him. Even though they are six months apart they are so close. It is awesome to be a part of).

And the little bit I have discussed with him about Jesus.

This came up because he noticed our nativity scene. It's a dinky little set I bought at a dollar store years ago. A time when I decided I needed a little reminder of the true meaning of Christmas in my home. It is clear glass, simple and mini. I guess what attracted me to it was the mini-ness of it. It's size matched the bit of religion I had saved a space for. Faith is always in my heart, but I will admit does not play as big of a role in my life as I have discovered does in so many others lives. I have always believed. I have always prayed. But my parents were pretty liberal with how we practiced our faith and with that came my decision to not attend church weekly. We do not go often at all. I have always believed that God does not need to hear me from one particular place. But, I did promise him/her that I would improve as a Catholic when my children came along. I have done a better job. I talk to God more often the past few years. I make more room for God in my life. I am a firm believer that when I am going through a tough time (and unfortunately, it took a really tough time years ago to wake me up to this) he or she will not disappoint me as long as I learn from what it is I am going through at the time. Ask Charito. I often say, "Everything happens for a reason." Now, I know that phrase can sound cruel when something so beyond explanations occurs (sudden and tragic deaths for example-luv u Jimmy n Jacob) but I have to keep thinking that at some point in our lives we will see why. That could take days or years but I don't know what else to do with that event other than toss it up into God's hands til it does make sense. So, for now (because this is way too deep to get into w/ T nowadays) I simply told him Jesus is the baby that came on Christmas. He loves us and his family loves us. They want us to be good people. That should suffice for now, huh? Every once in a while I see him rearranging the angels and the nativity scene from tallest to shortest and vice versa. I ask him what he is doing and he tells me "don't worry, they all looking at baby Jesus all day. They are happy, mom." Well, as long as everyone is happy that is all that matters to me!

Here are some early Christmas photos. I cannot wait til the big day! T has even told me we cannot forget baby Grayson's presents. I love watching the two of them evolve. The way Grayson just smirks when he hears Triston's voice and turns his head to look for him. Unforgettable!

I bought T a little Christmas tree to teach him although we have a fake one (he doesnt know that) all Xmas trees come from the earth.

He proudly set it next to ours and told Charito it will grow big one day.

I realized that if I include him in all the decorating he is less likely to ruin/break items, i.e. the village. We have a bunch of unbreakable ornaments (which does NOT include my gorgeous Radkos). I left T in charge of these. He took so much pride into placing each so carefully onto the tree. Notice how all of mommy's occupy the top half of the tree and T's are all grouped ( 4 or 5 on the same branch stem!) sporadically around tree.




And to think that so far I am only in the Xmas spirit around the boys. When T is talking about it. Otherwise, I don't feel it so much at the moment. I have a few more days to get there!