Dear Sushi (Grayson),I must tell you how absolutely adorable you are. How when you are happy (90% of the day) you are soooo happy and smiley. A smirk that is all yours and no one else's. How you throw your daddy a quick grin before he walks out the door for work. How you stared endlessly at your brother and his goofy questions to you. How you love to look at your puppies on the walls of your room when I cue you and sing "Good morning/good afternoon/good night PUPPIES!" Your eyes immediately dart to any wall to find them and smile. I look forward to it every morning. By the way, with each enormous smile I find myself making up your laugh for you in my mind. Your smiles just keep getting bigger and bigger and I wonder which one holds that big gut laugh that I am so anxious to hear. Don't keep mommy waiting much longer...I want it on videotape for Gramma and Bonka!
I expected everyone, including your dad and I, to compare you at every stage to your big bro Triston. But lately, every time someone does I immediately think, "Um, he looks/acts like Grayson to me." I know it is natural for parents to compare. It's all you know how to do. But I am glad I do because it is what led me to research your gassy self.
At first, I was convinced you were just a gassy baby. Not colic (thank goodness!). Not acid reflux or GERD. Just a gasmachine. However, your dad and I noticed your breathing, too. It was as if you saved some milk/saliva for later in the back of your throat. You don't spit up or throw up. None of the classic signs of a digestive issue. So we changed your formula (something I never would have done on my own with your brother. I was so afraid to do anything without consulting the doc first. A doc that I was so lucky to find because he truly understands your control freak, anxious mother). But your doc mentioned that the sound in the back of your throat appears to be mild reflux, especially when I told him you still like to be swaddled and sleep on an incline. This seemed to help you sleep better. And mommy thanks you oh so much for sleeping through the night so early on! So, we thought we got it all under control. New bottles, formula, a "definition" to your breathing and a Boppy to sleep on. Well, the Boppy didn't last too long did it, Mr. Wiggles? I can't believe you are squirming away, rolling onto your sides and your back. Out goes the Boppy!
Your sleep-full night blessings came to a screeching halt right after your 8 week doc visit. Boy, was I spoiled before! Your gas was so much worst! You were waking up every 45 minutes at night to scream out a fart. So much more painful for me to watch as you tried to poop and fart. I remember crying last week thinking, "There has got to be something more to this. This is not just gas. It should not be this hard for you to do what should come naturally." I started researching online. I NOW convinced myself you had a mild milk allergy. The symptoms lined up pretty well. It was confusing at first and took me awhile to process through and prepare the speech I was going to deliver to your doc at your brother's 3 yr. checkup today. So many ideas and questions:
- so, you are not entirely allergic to milk bc we would have known that immediately (projectile vomit and such)?
- the discomfort even the Gentlease formula gives you has created a form of reflux in the back of your throat? I had only known reflux to be of what I now know are more severe cases. I didn't know reflux to be this mild?
- this discomfort is why you prefer to sleep sitting up or inclined or swaddled?
- if you have an allergy is there a chance that you may not have been taking in all that the formula is supposed to do for your body? why you still seemed hungry after a 3 and 4 oz feeding? why at 6 weeks you were drinking 5 oz bottles and your bro wasnt even consuming that 3 mos? was something not absorbing entirely into your body?
- is this the equivalent to an adult form of lactose intolerance? You can eat it, but be prepared to pay the price later?
- and what about the transition to milk at 1 yr of age? will it be difficult? can you drink it? do we change to soy formula?
So, the wonderful Dr. Belmonte asked if I had any questions or concerns about your bro. I said no. Well, I had one but your bro fixed that one when he speed raced on that Smartcycle on his bday. I asked if it was appropriate to talk about you during this visit. I got the okay and spilled my guts (trying to hold back tears). I told him everything. He nodded at the end of it all and agreed with me. He said, "You seemed to have figured this one out, mom. Wanna try soy?" Aahh, what a relief. I am not crazy! Your doc has always been very supportive of the "maternal gut" and that is why he is a keeper.
He gave us 3 sample cans of the soy and wished us luck. He said we would transition you back to "regular" formula at about 6 mos of age. The transition to "real"milk typically is not a big issue. What you are going through right now is exactly that, a "right now issue"that will most likely fix itself. This just seems to be the way your body is digesting formula at this particular stage of development. You had 2 soy bottles today and tomorrow will be your first FULL day of all soy. I am optimistic. I read online that parents have noticed a change in their babies within 24 hours. I will say that it did put a smile on my face to hear you fart away in daddy's lap after dinner tonight. I heard only LOUD farts, not screams. Cute little farts and pushin' grunts.
So, we will see what tomorrow brings. We are keeping it low key tomorrow. For your sake and your brother's. He has a cold. We need to 'pump' ourselves up for his bday party Sunday. Maybe you can have a turn in moon jump?
Sushi, I want you to know that I didn't give up on you. I saw the problem and HAD to fix it. I was miserable emotionally and you were miserable physically. I had to figure it out. And if this is not the solution we will try something else. I just had to try something. I worry that I am going back to work soon. I want you to be at your best for Lula. 2 Cacal boys will not be easy for her and if I could make this aspect of your day go away and easier on her I had to look into it. Your Lula is good to us, your bro and you. I have to try my best to lighten the load, as hard as it is for me to hand you over to others. This will always be mommy's issue. I am very protective of you two. It is both a strength and a weakness I possess. But, remember...mommy will always do what is best for you. And when you are old enough to converse with me we can figure it all out together. You can count on that!
Bring on the happy gas! No more sad and mean gas, please.
No comments:
Post a Comment