Saturday was Lunch w Santa at Triston's school. It was supposed to be a family affair but I called in for Grayson's counts and he was neutropenic at discharge the previous Friday, so we were pretty sure he would still be. So, instead it was just Triston and I (Caden was napping when we were getting ready to leave). I was looking forward to the "T time"since I would be leaving him on Monday. I was even considering taking him to a community theatre production of the Nutcracker that evening. But that all depended on his mood throughout the day (I figured I could buy the tix online last minute).
We arrived at school and I was thrilled to see it was not as chaotic as I thought it would be. It was so mellow. So nice. Najette and Dave saved seats for us so we got to sit with his buddies Eileen and Aidan. We ate pizza and ice cream and completed some art crafts. And of course saw Santa. He told Santa he wanted "another fragile dinosaur" (like the one I wrote about weeks ago from Grampa, which of course came from Branson, Missouri!!! Not in my favor that is for sure).
I think what I enjoyed most about the time there was just observing him. Watching him laugh it up with classmates, make a point to be Mr. Polite and say hello to everyone he knew, heading off on "his own" to do a project or walk around (I have my built in babysitter in Eileen!), goofing off, and just plain laughing. That laugh telling me he was okay. Telling me he needed this. He kept telling me he loved me. We had fun. I loved seeing him smile. I especially loved how grown-up like he approached Santa and shook his hand like an old man. That glimpse in time I will never forget.
It also reminded me of how much I am grateful for his school. The number of family activities and the vibe I have received from those I have attended are unbelievable. That confirmation, no matter how many times I feel it, is necessary in such an unknown world for me recently. I question everything I do and say bc I feel I can't count on much these days. Other than the consistent support of family and friends everything else seems so unsteady. A very unsettling feeling to fall asleep to each night.
Unfortunately, T hit a tired-ass wall near the end and attitude and silliness and button-pushing ensued and I had to mentally take the Nutcracker off our list of things to do that evening. He had no idea it was my intention to go. I was extremely disappointed. It is something I have wanted to take him to for years. I have never seen it myself. But when he was one years old we ran across it on channel 11 and he was mesmerized. I remember calling my mom bc I could not believe how into it he was. He has remembered the story ever since. Every Christmas I have this image of getting all dressed up for a night out on the town for me and my baby boy. Every year there is an excuse. This year I wasn't going to allow an excuse. Cancer has taught me there is no reason to delay anything anymore, just do it bc things can change in a second. This year I thought I had even found the ultimate NO excuse solution. Najette remembered a community theatre in Schaumburg she had seen the production at years ago. I FOUND it. The Prairie Center in Schaumburg had tickets for less than $26. But alas the attitude and tireds of his stressful week put us in a position to skip it. And it's not like I have many days to choose from w Grayson's chemo schedule or other obligations (that we typically miss as well). Maybe next year and maybe, just maybe all 5 of us can go?
At least I have White Christmas and Holiday Inn to enjoy with T every year! He is about the only one who will sit and watch them with me. Another reason-he is my guy.
No comments:
Post a Comment