Please continue to dazzle me, boys...

WARNING-this is a long one. I have been working on it for several weeks due to distractions and inspiration. I finally finished it on Aug 25!

The boys have swamped me this summer with all their efforts and accomplishments that my head is spinning!

Triston, I adore...

• seeing your "interests" change every few months. After trains and the like for a while you have returned to your love of books and puzzles. Brings me back to those days you were completing 25+ piece puzzles before your 2 nd bday except now you are tackling 100 piecers! May I remind you puzzles are really not my thing yet you seem to be tutoring me through the madness.
• finding you buried in a pile of books just like when you were 1 and had to look through each book off your shelf. It was the quietest hour and half we could get out of our day
• your recent obsession with "homework" and anything school-oriented (even though I haven't told you yet that school is actually gonna happen in a month). I know it's bc you observe me tutor each week (quickie-One day I was working w/ M on short vowel sounds and final consonant sounds. I was trying to get him to spell and sound out the words dog and log. When M appeared stuck T , who was quietly doing a puzzle in the living room bc he knows he is not supposed to interrupt, approached me and whispered if he could "tell M it's a G for the words". It was sooooo hard for me not to laugh aloud and embarrass M and yet I teared up for my lil guy's assistance).You have really gotten into worksheets and anything with letters and numbers. Your favorites are patterning, mazes, dot to dots and writing the alphabet and words. Your drawings are fantastic and I treasure your imagination and hope it carries you beyond your wildest dreams.
• the mannerisms, care, and big bro britches you have donned on your own with Grayson. Your daddy I discussed a long time ago that we didn't want you to ever feel like you are responsible for him and we were passing the buck to you. We do not want to pressure a relationship before you are ready. We wanted you to define your role in his life and understand that family is who we care for and look out for bc of love and commitment. I love watching you bring him his toys, show him how yours work, feed him, and hold him. You have taken on such an interest in him and I truly believe you are fueled by your own curiosity about how he reacts and what makes him tick. G really thinks you are THE best entertainment in his world and I think it's safe to say you enjoy being his comedian! I even joke that G has his very own Conan O' Brien at his beckon call. It's thanks to you his laugh has increased in volume (which we have all been waiting for). You should know that your lil' bro thinks you are absolutely amazing. Anyone can and will tell you that the gaze he has set on you daily is heart-melting. And you are starting to realize it a bit. Like whenever he brushes against you, reaches out to you or shrieks to get your attention you tell me, "Oh, look mom. Grayson loves me!" Yes, he does Mr. Magoo. More than you know!
• your endless questions and even more so...your solutions! I do not bore of them. You surprise me with that thinker of yours always churning away. I often find myself not so quick with responses bc your questions come from far away, a place I didn't think we'd be visiting for another year or two ( your Auntie KT teasing me about my responses and where they come from and how I plan them out. I don't most of the time. But I have to be cautious of my answers bc sometimes I want them to lead you to another question or halt you in your tracks to leave you to ponder in deliberation. There is a method to my madness). Keep 'em coming my inquisitive lil' one.
• knowing that I have forced myself to let go of you a bit this summer, in preparation for school in a few weeks. And I survived! I have not let myself even talk about school in fear that your program would be shut down and I would be faced with the explanation of why you have no school to attend. I knew well enough that you would not have forgotten your visit for registration and the pics you insisted on taking with your teachers months ago. I could not bear to see the disappointment in your eyes. Not only were you excited but oh so ready. A part of me realizing that it was time for someone else to add onto your foundation of education as if I was almost not enough anymore ( a foundation your dad and I and Lula played a great part in and I am damn proud of, considering that whole first time mom thing). You participated in a gym class in which I had to drop you off. No mommy by your side business there. And I'll admit. I was not nervous. I, too ,was ready. And even though it made more sense for me with the short hour at hand to just wait in the foyer for you, it gave me alone time with Grayson that I needed. It then became a routine moment for you to return from your upper level antics ( yeah, I didn't even have anything to peep at through the windows bc your class took place on the second floor) and coming running to me to declare, "Mommy! I had fun. I followed the teacher's rules!" and then to observe the giddy reaction in G as soon as he saw you. Just priceless. The long returned brother (okay long one hour for Grayson, but you could tell T was missed!). We also participated in an art class. Even though I was supposed to work with you, it was like watching your fine motor skills in hyper-drive. You watched the teacher construct her project and then you put it all into place. If you were stuck you asked for my help and we figured it out together. Often all you needed was another (by another I mean appropriate demonstration bc that teacher was whacked out old and hard for me to observe and not jump up and scream at. I know it was bc it wasn't being done my way but for goodness sakes break it down for this little ones, woman! Even the mother across from me, also a teacher, had to prevent herself from laughing just like me) sample demonstration and you were golden. I enjoyed sitting back and watching your artistic side go to town. Art continues to be one of your fav things after all these years (okay, 3.5 yrs). You also swam like a dolphin in swim class, a class I thought I was going to be a part of, but turned out to be for the better that i was 86ed on ( mommy's fault for not reading the class description). Just another chalk up on the board for no more mommy. You really took a liking to your swim instructor, Matt. And you joined several sleepovers that only deepened the reality for me that you are growing up way too fast. Those were wierd nights for daddy and I bc it felt as if someone rewound time to when it was just us 2 adults and baby T. Like it was early 2006 and no big boy was running around, like G played the role of baby T in 2006. Odd. The quiet, and your not even a loudmouth kinda kid. And Grayson's reactions when you weren't home? Just picture the cackle of a villian from your fav Disney movie. This monstrous aura that belted out, " Yes, it's all mine! Every inch of this place and every toy is all mine!" It was cute. But, you were missed that's for sure. In terms of independence ( on mommy's terms) you grew up and so did I. Mommy needed it more than you, I think.
• your take on our various happenings this summer. A reminder to me that although, in my adult mind, I may have envisioned the perfect weekend getaway, zoo trip, garden visit, Ark adventure, beach bash or bike excursion it was the glimpse of these voyages through your eyes and your story recall that made them perfect (even when things didn't go as I had intended). That is what I will take from this summer, a mommy lesson from her big boy, her almost school boy. Your treasured memories and out takes of Summer '09 is exactly what I needed. You keep me going, egg roll!

Now, it's finally your turn Grayson (next dissertation mommy writes, you get to go first)...

Grayson, I adore...

• Your smirks. Like your planning something.
• Your endless curiosity and the way you study your brother's every move. I know you are taking it all in and saving it up for when YOU are ready.
• how happy you are. You seem to have this aura about you that constantly reminds me "life is good" , "roll with the punches". Something I need to remind myself of often.
• the pace you have conquered the milestones of the summer. Although I was on worry alert so many times bc of comparison to your brother, I needed remind myself to cool it. Your bro moved at a pretty advanced rate and I expected the same from you ( you did come from the same genes was my logic). But when I think back to the month between your 6 and 7 months and my waiting everyday for you to sit up and then BAM you did it on 7 mos exactly. That was my wake up call to relax and that you were gonna move at your pace. "I am not my brother". That "waiting" state I put myself in was tiring and so now I just kick back and wait for you. This summer you have been nonstop. Pulling up, army crawling in hyper speed, cruising all around the furniture, climbing and as the summer ends using coffee tables and tall toys as push walkers. You definitely seem to devise a plan and go for it at your own moments in time. Mommy needed that. A little guy to slow me down and pay attention to both sides of my boys' personalities and interests.
• your laugh. It starts out like quiet little breathes and blasts into girlie squeals.
• your interests increase with age this summer. I watched you observe the zoo, arboretum, museums and bike rides and wondered what you were thinking all along. Everything in life seems to make you happy so it is hard for me to tell what makes you ecstatic? The only thing I have noticed so far-Triston and Bryley. In fact, I swear I heard you say "Bryley" this morning like 'iiiieeee'. You did it twice. So can I count it with 'dada' and 'mama'?
• your recent cuddling approach. Other than when you were a newborn and cuddling is what newborns do best, you are not the cuddlin' kinda kid. Only since your stomach virus a few weeks ago did you actually want to be held and would sleep on my chest to sick boy comfort. It saddened me this is why you were cuddling FINALLY but I loved it. And now every once in awhile you reach for me and choose to cuddle. Not all the time but the few times you want to I scoop you up and endulge in the moment.
• watching you suck your thumb. You only do it when you are tired and that is the universal sign for "get me to bed NOW". You are very serious about your sleep. Always have been. A great sleeper. I appreciate that, sushi! With this great sleep you have pushed me to develop a bad habit. In relation to the " I am not a cuddler" personality trait you own, this also goes for drinking your milk. For months now you do not like to be held while you drink your bottles. You fight to get out of anyone's arms. You would much rather be sitting on the floor, in your high chair or (here's the bad habit) lying in your bed. Yes, you are so determined to do it on your own ( and with trying to keep up with your brother and anything else at my toes that needs to be accomplished in that particular moment) that I gave in and let you lie in your bed with your bottle. Something I NEVER would have done with your bro (that first-time mom freak in me). So, I compromised with myself by deciding I would make it OK by brushing your teeth MORE often than T's. Silly but I had to make it alright somehow in my mind. And even now you are upstairs in your crib with your sippy cup of milk about to pass out. Yay, sippy cup! Another check mark for your list of accomplishments this summer ( even though I think teething had a huge part in this. I saw you were gnawing on harder and harder objects and I tried yet another type of cup and you were sold!). But now I have hope. I thought you would have a very difficult time with the transition to cup due to this drinking in bed thing. You proved me wrong. And since sleep is much more a priority to you than getting that last sip in, I have a feeling this habit will not be much of a habit for long. We shall see.
• how with all the toy options you have you choose animals. Any kind! It is cute. That is why we are going to have an animal theme for your bday. Now to decide circus, zoo, jungle or farm? Hhmm
• Your smile and facial expressions crack me up. There are even a few expressions you make that look like me. Finally a baby boy that looks like me at times. Your brother has morphed into a mini daddy and there you are with some feminine features that are so adorable. You are my sunshine!

Well, I think that is it for now, boys. Thank you for a great summer with great 'mommy n her boys' adventures. I guess we will have to save more for afterschool and weekends with daddy til next summer. But you TWO made my summer. It may not have been full of out of this world excursions but it sure made me realize what I love most about summer-the two of you!

( tried uploading a video of the boys but it wasnt working)